White Sails
by raindropdays
Summary: I'm afraid that one day you'll leave here. I want to tell you to stay here with me. But I can't bear to say such selfish things. So I'll just whisper it as you fall asleep: always yours...only yours. *Rated M for sexual themes/content*  fianceshipping


**A/N: Dedicated to Nayuki, my YGO muse. This is the first of several GX fanfictions to come. XD After all, yes… I will admit it to you, my loyal readers…. GX is my latest obsession. XDDD I've dedicated my spare time to watching the entire series in the original Japanese (my goodness… there is no "getting my game on" or "throwing down facedowns" here…-_-) for the sole purpose of Judai-footage. Yes, I will also admit that I am a Judai fangirl… I figure this is a no-judge zone. ^^;; In terms of this fic, I'm not a fan of fianceshipping. That is… I'm not a supporter. XD But… then again, I don't support ANY shipping in the GX universe… especially not shippings involving Judai, so what can I say? I'm not one to write a story without romance… so I needed a pairing and here we go! But… I've also never written a story like this? Sex scene? Hello, good-bye, that is SO not up my alley. xDD;;;; But Nayuki was bugging me… so here you go, you get this. Good to be back on fanfiction. :D Now… read, mes amies. Read the crap that has spawned from my GX-obsession.**

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><p><em>White Sails<em>

_(Asuka)_

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><p>Harsh gasps. Heavy breathing. He's lying beneath her, and she wouldn't rather have it any other way.<p>

They're situated on a creamy cloud of white linen—the beautifully ornate kind that only exists in the Obelisk Blue dorm. She smiles slightly as her eyes run from his nearly bare chest (someone's pushed his shirt up all the way—was that her?) to his crimson-red jacket, reminding her that he really shouldn't be in her dorm.

That, and he's of the opposite sex.

She feels him shift slightly beneath her.

Yes. _Definitely_ of the opposite sex.

Cautiously, her eyes wander from his messily strewn jacket, mashed between his frame and her bed, to his almond-colored hair, now made messier than usual from their earlier endeavors.

She refuses to meet his eyes though, and this makes him uneasy, almost upset.

She's paused, and is faltering, lingering merely inches above his face.

But he's not so impatient as to push her away angrily and storm out. No, she means much more to him than that, and so, he raises a hand to caress her cheek, all the while trying to make eye-contact.

"Asuka…" his voice is soft and comforting, and all at once, the hesitation rushes in around her, threatening to choke and drown her. She does the only thing she can to keep holding on. She lets a tear slip down her cheek, only to be brushed away by his gentle fingers. "Asuka…why are you crying?" He's smiling now, ever so gently, though it's not his usual grin.

Or maybe it is...

He's changed so much these past few months. She doesn't know him anymore.

"I..." she tries to answer him, but her voice is wracked with sobs and her throat is hollow.

Why is she crying?

...Why is she crying?

"Asuka…" his voice seems far away, though he's merely inches from her, and this worries her.

Quickly, her eyes try to refocus on his face, but he's fading away as if he isn't really there. He's blurry around the edges like a picture she can't remember.

"Wait!" She's yelling now even though it's past midnight and she'll get in trouble if she's caught with a boy in her room. They might even be expelled, and it's even their last year of school. But she can't help it. Something's not right.

Why does he sound so far away when he's right there?

As if nothing is changing, he continues to smile kindly at her, now using both hands to brush away her fast-forming tears. "Asuka..." he says her name again as if to reassure her that everything is okay, and she squeezes her eyes shut.

Is he saying her name…or is her referring to what's yet to come?

"Judai..."

The whisper feels wrong on her tongue though. Like sandpaper grating against her throat, and the next thing she knows, he's gone.

A gentle breeze blows through the open window as she kneels on her bed, alone; the place where he lay now cold as though the whole thing had been a wild figment of her imagination.

She blinks as she stares at the mattress beneath her.

Wasn't he just there?

Wasn't he just...?

"Don't go..." she cries, as the realization washes over her and she bends over, hugging herself in a vain attempt to feel complete, "Don't leave me. Don't leave me here alone..."

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><p>The bell rings.<p>

The match is over.

Above the stadium, the scoreboards flash the final score as the man in the yellow tuxedo announces the victory formally over the megaphone speaker.

"The winner of the World's League Championship, three time champion, Tenjoin Asuka!" The way he says it makes it seem a lot more impressive than it really is. A loud booming of cheers erupts from all around her, as she turns to her opponent and gives a small bow.

It's been three years since that day.

And she still can't get him out of her head.

"Please come accept your trophy, Miss Tenjoin!" the announcer instructs giddily, as he ushers her towards the judge's panel on the north side of the stadium.

It's been three years, and she's still empty.

She tries, but fails.

She tries to find herself in dueling.

Her hands enclose around the cold metal handle of the trophy, and she's submersed in another cacophony of cheers and screeches.

This has become her life.

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><p>"I have a feeling that one day, you're going to leave."<p>

They're standing in the school gardens now; the ones that only bloom in the springtime.

You only go there at the end of the year. You only go there to signify the end.

All around them, the almond blossoms are blooming. He once said they reminded him of her. He wonders, for a moment, if perhaps that's why she's lured him here.

Lure.

She always does that to him.

They're not facing each other.

No, that would be too painful.

He's changed, and it's not that she's holding onto his past self. Really, she's not. She understands…well, she tries. He gives her that. But she doesn't know.

Blood stained prim clothes and vacant expressions.

An awful feeling of guilt tightening in your stomach….

Nobody knows.

So, he has his back turned to her. Somehow she always finds herself in this position, as of late. She's always chasing his retreating figure. It's almost as if the days they spent walking side-by-side are just a far off memory now.

Oh, who is she kidding?

She'd be crazy to think those times would ever return.

"Leave?"

His tone is questioning but they both know he's just playing along.

As if, playing along will make it hurt any less when he does just that. When he does all but break her—bend her until she can't go on without retaining the strain he's done to her body and heart.

"And never come back…" She's not whispering. She's not allowing herself to cry. She's Tenjoin Asuka. She's strong. She has to be.

When he doesn't humor her, she knows she's struck a little too close to the truth.

This is it then, isn't it? The school year will disappear in a few weeks and the only man she's ever loved will disappear with it.

"_I want to tell you not to go. But I can't… bring myself to say something so selfish." _

He turns to face her, and she can't read the expression on his face.

Regret…? Sorrow…? Pity…?

"When I do go…"

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><p>This isn't like usual. There's no gentleness. There are no pauses. There are no words.<p>

It's almost barbaric the way they're going about it tonight.

These days, their clothes just come off without any exchanged utterances...without any conversation to mask the reasons for why they need to strip each other and let bare skin move against bare skin.

Have they ever even said, "I love you"?

(Have they ever needed to...?)

He pushes her against the bed, almost roughly, before climbing on top of her, his eyes conveying all the meaning she needs. All the comfort she needs. All the "love" she needs. It's there in his gaze.

Without words, he slips her skirt past her thighs and moves to toss his jacket aside.

This is raw, insatiable passion.

This is life.

All of their cynicism, all of their hopes, all of their dreams melt and meld and, she knows him.

It's in these moments that she really believes that.

As she carves a piece of her pattern into his body, to take with him wherever he goes, whenever he goes. She really believes he's hers.

As much as he could be hers.

Between moans, he hovers over her, his elbows jammed against the pillow beneath her head. His breath is sticky-sweet on her cheeks.

"Don't forget me," he says firmly but kindly, as his eyes lock with hers. "Don't forget me, okay?"

Her fingers tighten around his arms.

"_Forget you?"_

His lips find hers in the pale moonlight and she tastes something of bitter wine.

"_Can't you just say you'll stay…?"_

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><p>"<em>I'm afraid..."<em>

The man at the bookstore recognizes her as _the_ Tenjoin Asuka. It's insane how popular Duel Monsters has become in the twenty—or so—short years that it's existed.

"_That one day…" _

"So, you like flowers, huh?" he says as she places her encyclopedia of flowers on the checkout counter. She nods politely as he rings her up. It's just a bit of reading for fun, after all. Something of a change from the usual dueling strategies and card galleries her trainers force her to peruse.

"_You'll leave here."_

It's a beautifully, chilly spring day. She can't help but notice that it reminds her of something from long ago. She shakes the memories as she makes her way along the streets of town that she's come to know all too well.

Down the street, she can see a flurry of white and pale-pink blossoms swirling around in the April breeze. Without realizing it, she's walking closer and closer. It's been so long since she's been in a garden.

"_I want to tell you..."_

Inside the garden are couples. Mostly young, but some older; all of them holding hands. Holding each other close. They all wear smiles and for a moment, she wonders if she and him… were they ever like that? A man in a cap holds a young woman close as they stand under the most extravagantly decked tree in the center of the park. Its white petals are in full bloom and the air smells like almonds.

"_To stay here with me."_

"It's an Almond Blossom!" the young woman exclaims happily, as she spins around, throwing her arms around the man. "Our flower?" she asks, teasingly.

The man lets out a hearty laugh, "What does that even _mean_?"

"It means 'promise'." She answers kindly. The couple stops abruptly and she knows she's caught them off guard. For a moment, they silently exchange looks before the man realizes it's a famous duelist that's spoken to him. The woman seems more entranced by her knowledge of flowers though.

"_But I can't bear to say such selfish things._"

She lives alone in a luxurious apartment on the nice side of town.

Sitting on her balcony, watching the sunset, she swears she can hear someone laughing. Someone she used to know… better than even herself.

"Whether it's been five years, ten years or even twenty..." she fingers an old photograph that's become worn and faded with time. In it, he smiles back at her. Always. Always unwavering, always bursting with light. She misses that most about him.

His consecrated light.

"I'll never forget you."

The sun is taking longer than usual to set today. She feels as though she's able to stare at his twilight-drenched face for just a few seconds more before the city is engulfed in darkness, and her vision blurs.

Through the glass doors to the balcony, she swears she can see a dark figure moving towards her, arms outstretched; the dizzying smell of almonds in the air.

"Until we meet again, Judai."

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><p><strong>AN: Please, please, please review? :) It was my first time doing a story like this... and my first M-rated fic on here... AND my first finaceshipping fic! So any criticism, praise, whatever you want to call it, would be great! :DDD **

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


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